#22 Love letters
I used to like writing letters. Growing up, I had two penpals from Finland— random, I know, but that’s what I got in my English class lottery— with whom I shared all the joys and troubles of my teenage years until I was in university and the writing dried out. Later, I exchanged correspondence with some of my Spanish friends when I moved to Portugal. That’s when I started to write Christmas cards. I had never felt the need before since I was constantly surrounded by my friends and family, but there is something about those weeks before the holiday, when you start missing your people, that makes you want to write, and what better way than to do it in a glittery paper?
But nothing lasts forever, and the more time I spent abroad, the more I constructed another life and the less need I felt for letters or cards. I have to say it: I, the micromanager at work, became a lousy friend. I changed from being the one with an agenda with the list of birthdays and special occasions to the one who sends you a message saying, “Happy birthday, two months and three days.” I guess the positive note is that I am original… right?
A few years ago, though, I decided to write cards again (timely). I had been working for a while as a people manager and preparing the end-year reviews, which takes time and energy, and when it’s well done— in my opinion— it breaks your soul a little bit. I used to call the document with all my observations, remarks, and points of attention “the love letters” to my team members. If any of them is reading this, they might recognize it. It was not a secret, but something I always shared with them. During the year COVID struck, I took care of my team members as well as I could— as I did with my family— despite, at times, they drove me crazy— as well as my family. Still, there was a difference: I could see my children but not my colleagues. Of course, we had video conferences several times a week, but I knew it was not “just” the same, so when December arrived, and while I was working on my very serious and professional love letters, I decided to open my heart a little bit and share with my team a little bit more. That year, once more, I bought glittery cards and wrote to each of them what they had meant to me, what I had learned from them, and how much I wished them to be happy and healthy. I meant it. I sent a bunch of cards that month. I got a few myself and some texts thanking me for the cards. I repeated this for the following years until I left Corporate Life.
This is my first December as a writer. I share my office with two horse-sized dogs and do my extra hours surrounded by a partner, two teenagers, and an eight-year-old with more energy than a 24-battery pack. Sometimes I have a coffee with friends, and around these days I always prepare a little gift for them, but I have not been as social as I used to be so, this year, I bought my glittery cards and the lovely Christmas stamps again, and they have been sitting in front of me, while I write many other things but cards. Today, it is the 19th of December, and I have decided I will not send them. Not because I don’t care but because I don’t know what to say. I hope they are doing well and keep learning and enjoying life surrounded by those they love. I guessed I am back to my lousy friend era. I’m still trying to decide how much I like it…
So, if you know me, Merry Christmas, suppose you don’t, Merry Christmas as well. Lousy and democratic…, it seems like a plan for the new year. And cookies… Yes, that’s even better :)
Love,
Laura
