#20 The point

When I was younger, my mother always said: "No matter what you do, do it right." I have carried that premise with me all these years: at home, at work, with colleagues, and with kids. Anyone who knows might have heard my five-year plan: "I don't know where I'll be, but I want to do it right." Things we learn as children get imprinted in our brains, and no matter what we do, it is difficult to erase them.

The last months have been different for my family and me, but the fact is that my professional career has been very different from the one my mother lived in. She never understood my long hours in the laboratory--- because I had a contract of forty hours and no extra time paid. She thought it was bonkers my life as a product manager and my dedication to projects-- instead of staying more time at home with my children. She thought I was punishing her when I moved to another country-- because, for her, looking for a better opportunity was no reason to leave your country behind. She did not get it. She did not get it at all. That's why I stopped telling her most of my work things--the good or the bad--because she did not get it or wanted to.

At first, I did not tell her that I was about to leave Corporate to write on my own, with no signed contract or monthly payments. How could she understand? When I finally explained why I had so much "free time"—meaning, how I could pick up my son at school every day—she said nothing at first. She asked a couple of times about what I was doing and, many days, questioned about my days, but that was all.

Yesterday I told her I was about to go on holiday with my family and her reaction was:

"You only do holidays. That's your life now? Time out every three months?"

I tried to be cool about that, but hours later, she texted me, telling me I must be in trouble for acting like this and neglecting my responsibilities. I guess she means I should be earning money, and trust me when I say I would like to do so with my books, but right now, that's not the point. The point is that I wanted (and want) to do it right. Her intentions might be good, but once more, she missed it.